It could be a horrible experience especially when it’s not planned for but you end up being left in a lurch.
Stressful, confusing, and terrifying are words to apply when a partner chooses this time to deny paternity. What do you do?
Examine the situation
Find out why he is behaving that way.
Most men will run away for various reasons but before you vent your
frustration on yourself or unborn child, find out why he has behaved
irresponsibly. Is he married? Or he lacks the financial capability to
cater for a child? Unearthing why he has decided to shy away from his
responsibility will go a long way in helping you decide what steps to
take next.
Accept your situation
The world would not come to an end
anyway! Some will find that speaking with a counsellor helps. Take as
much time as you need in order to come to accept the reality of your
situation.
Inform affected parties
There are, of course, exceptions to this
advice especially if you fear that your life or your baby’s is
endangered. If not, consider telling your family and close
friends—trusted loved ones. They love you; they want to help you. If
they do not know what is going on in your life, they cannot help you.
Open up to them and let them provide the emotional support you need
while taking responsibility for your situation and making an informed
decision.
Research your options
While it is important to take
responsibility, remember that you do still have options. Because every
situation is different, there is a myriad of options from which you can
choose. You just need to find the option that works best for you. Do not
let others pressure you into a decision that you do not feel
comfortable with. It is important that you make an informed decision.
So, research, ask around, study, and learn. It takes work and
dedication, but it is the only way to find the right choice for you and
your specific situation.
Inform his friends and family
It is imperative to your progression to
let his close friends and family in on what is going on. Some people may
be easier to tell than others but at least it will be on record that
they were informed and are aware.
Stay calm
According to www.babies.com, it
may be easier to get your thoughts in order or on paper before you
begin. It can calm your nerves and help you stay on topic throughout
your discussions. If it does get heated or emotional, try your best to
remain calm, and that should help the others to stay calm, also. If you
have the need, consider having a mediator help the discussion move along
respectfully and kindly. You do not have to fight him or make a public
debacle of the situation.
Seek financial support
Except you are out rightly comfortable,
you might require financial support to cater for an extra mouth. If you
need financial support in order to get on your feet, you can reach out
to family and friends before the baby arrives so you are well prepared
for eventualities. Whichever type of support you need, there will be
something available to you; you just have to know where to look.
Request for a paternity test
While this journey may be difficult, it
can strengthen you, but only if you take certain decisions first. If the
father does not admit paternity or is not sure, he is the child’s
father, genetic tests may be ordered and a court order may be entered to
establish paternity. Genetic tests of the mother, child, and the
alleged father can determine the likelihood of paternity or exclude a
man as a possible father. Usually, a father will admit paternity when
genetic test results show he is the biological father of the child. If
the father continues to state that he is not the father, he may ask for a
court hearing. The judge at a court hearing listens to both sides and
consider the test results and all evidence. Other evidence, such as
admissions of paternity and previous payment provided to the child, can
also help establish paternity. Alleged fathers will often sign a
stipulated order for paternity based on the results of the genetic
tests.
No comments:
Post a Comment